


And So It Goes

by ellieinwonderland



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Mental Illness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-20
Updated: 2013-08-19
Packaged: 2017-12-24 01:53:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/933766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellieinwonderland/pseuds/ellieinwonderland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt Hummel never realized how hard it could be to love someone he couldn't share with the world, until he met Blaine Anderson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And So It Goes

_Out of all the places in Manhattan he has to live in my building?_ was Kurt’s only thought that morning, hiding behind a ficus, trying to avoid his neighbor and former classmate, Adam. It’s not that Adam was a bad guy, he was just very persistent and unwilling to believe in the fact that Kurt was taken.

Kurt watched as Adam finished getting his mail, and then walked out of the building, “Finally,” he sighed.

He moved out from behind the plant while avoiding stares from his elderly neighbors as he crossed the lobby to the elevators. When he got off on his floor ( _the tenth floor’s the best because ten is an even number and it ends in zero, Kurt_ ) and walked towards his door it was partially blocked by four boxes, all with Amazon labeled on the side. “This day just keeps getting better and better.” He maneuvered himself around the box to unlock the door ( _all six locks, because it’s safer, Kurt_ ) but he didn’t account for the chain.

“Blaine, come and unchain the door!” Kurt exclaimed, usually Blaine was there waiting at four o’clock to unchain the door for him.

“Sorry, Kurt. You were late so I started making dinner.” Kurt watched through the crack in the door as Blaine came over, shut the door, and then listened to the sound of the chain being undone.

The door reopened to reveal Blaine’s smiling face, “Are they mine?” he asked, gesturing to the boxes.

“Well they’re not mine. Move so I can get them in.” Blaine left as the timer on the stove went off, leaving Kurt to lug the heavy boxes into the entryway. “More books. Just what we need.”

When all the boxes were in Kurt shut and relocked the door ( _because why would we have six locks if we didn’t lock them, Kurt?_ ), and finished with a sigh as he slid the chain back across. He walked into the kitchen where Blaine was straining pasta and put his arms around him. “Didn’t we have a talk a few weeks ago about your Amazon habit?”

“Yes. But we also had a talk about _your_ shopping habit and I know for a fact you went to Macy’s the other day. Just because I don’t go anywhere doesn’t mean I don’t know where you go.”

“That’s different, Blaine. I need clothes. To _wear._ ”

“And I don’t need books? What am I supposed to do all day when you’re gone? I can only write and watch TV so much, Kurt. I need _something._ ”

“Well you can always _try_ leaving the apartment. There’s plenty of things to do out in the real world.”

Blaine stopped stirring the sauce, “That was uncalled for.”

“No I’d say it was called for,” Kurt was really starting to get worked up. It had been a long, hard day, and maybe coming home stressed wasn’t the brightest idea. “I mean is this going to be the rest of our lives? Am I going to leave and go be with people and visit places while you stay here and read? Because I’m pretty sure we’ll drown in books by the time I’m thirty! It’s different here, you can go outside!”

“No, I can’t! It’s not different, Kurt. I’ve been outside here and-“

“You have _not_ been outside here! The only time you’ve ever been in New York – _outside-_ you were sedated because that’s the only way we could move you up here.”

“Then why did you? Did you really think it would be different? That you could take me away to a more crowded and noisier place and all my problems would be gone? Did you think that Ohio was the problem? If Ohio was the problem my parents would have moved us a long time ago. It’s me. The problem is _me._ I can’t do it, Kurt. I can’t go out. I’ve tried. I got three steps into the hallway until I started panicking. Three steps. And you want me to go out in a city of millions? It’s not happening. And if you can’t deal with it, then you should just pack up your stuff and leave because I’m never going to get better. So just go.”

With that, Blaine retreated to his “office”. Kurt heard the lock click and then turned to leave after turning the oven off ( _what if the apartment catches on fire, Kurt, I can’t get out_ ). He wasn’t sure where he was going but when he got to the lobby his decision was made for him.

“Kurt!”

“Adam. Hi.”

“I haven’t seen you in a while. Do you want to grab a cup of coffee?”

“I told you I have-“ Kurt began, but decided against finishing that sentence. “Ok.”

The coffee shop they went to was quiet and close to empty and Kurt realized why after his first sip.

“So where are you from, Kurt?”

“A really small town in Ohio,” Kurt answered, pushing his coffee away.

_Kurt wasn’t going to be that kid. The one who waited until his senior year to start planning for the future. It was halfway through his sophomore year when he decided he needed to be doing more. It was after another week of slushees and locker checks that he realized how badly he needed to leave this town. And college in New York was the perfect way to do that. The New York Academy for the Dramatic Arts in particular._

_On Monday he visited Miss Pillsbury to see if she could give him some advice on securing his future at NYADA._

_“Well joining more clubs is really all you can do at this point. When you get to your senior year you can do more like run for senior class president or prom committee.”_

_“That’s it? Just join more clubs?”_

_“Well you can always do something outside of school. Colleges love community service.”_

_“Picking up garbage on the side of the road isn’t for me. And I don’t like old people.”_

_“Okay. Then what about tutoring? There are plenty of kids who need some extra help with their work. Actually…” She seemed to remember something because she pulled open a drawer and took out a sheet of paper and handed it to him. “This is for a boy who needs tutoring. He’s homeschooled but his parents think he should have a tutor his own age, so if you’re interested just call this number.”_

_To Kurt, this seemed like a better option than trying to teach anyone at this school. Knowing his luck he’d be forced to tutor one of his tormentors._

_He called the number on the paper then spent 15 minutes talking to the mother, Mrs. Anderson, about his grades and what he does outside of class. She seemed to like him because she offered him an evening at their house to get to know her son, Blaine._

_So that Friday night, after informing his dad about his tutoring plans (and receiving a proud look and an “I’m glad you’re doing something like this” speech), he headed a few miles into the nicer part of town._

_He was invited in by a tall man with dark hair and blue eyes, Mr. Anderson, he learned. Mr. Anderson led him up the stairs and told him that if he and Blaine got along he could start Monday._

_Mr. Anderson knocked on the door, “Blaine, Kurt’s here.” Kurt heard the door unlock, then a boy who looked very much like his father except smaller and scared looking, opened the door. “I’ll leave you two alone. I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”_

_“Dad-“_

_“You’ll be fine, Blaine.”_

_Blaine simply eyed him warily through the crack in the door so Kurt took control of the situation. “Hi. I’m Kurt. I might be your new tutor.”_

_Blaine continued staring._

_“Can I come in?”_

_Blaine must have made up his mind because he opened the door and moved back to the bed which was covered in books.  When he moved into the light Kurt saw the white bandages covering the side of his head._

_“I don’t need a tutor. My parents just want someone my own age to come and talk to me once in a while. And if they call them my “tutor” then they can basically pay someone to be my friend.”_

_“They’re not paying me.”_

_“They were going to offer after you met me so you didn’t lie for the money.”_

_“Oh. Well I don’t really need the money. I mean, no offence, but I just need something to put on my college applications.”_

_“Well at least you’re honest. So why’d you pick me? I’m sure you have a whole group of people who could use your help.”_

_“I hate everyone in my school.”_

_“We have something in common then. You can sit down if you want, you don’t have to stand in the doorway.”_

_Kurt wasn’t sure where to sit so he took the safest bet at the desk chair, “So you must like to read a lot.”_

_“Well when I can’t leave the house reading is the next best thing. I can go anywhere in the world without leaving my bed.”_

_Kurt figured it was best not to ask why he couldn’t leave the house or why he had bandages on the side of his head. He’d learn why anyway in the coming weeks._

Two hours later, Kurt came home to an unchained door. All the lights were off in the apartment, the only light coming through the windows. There was enough light to lead him into the bedroom, also unlocked ( _we need a lock on the bedroom, Kurt, what if someone breaks in the front door? At least we have something else to protect us)._ Kurt didn’t want to tell him that if someone broke through their six locks and a chain then a simple bedroom lock wasn’t going to stop them.

Blaine was curled up on the window seat, gazing out at the city, “Where were you?”

“I went out for coffee. With Adam.”

Blaine nodded, “Ok.”

“We had coffee for about twenty minutes. Then I left and walked around a bit.”

“Ok.”

Kurt walked over and stood next to Blaine’s seat. Blaine shifted so that his head was pressed against Kurt’s chest. Kurt took that as an invitation to run his hand through Blaine’s hair. Blaine relaxed against him, even as his fingers felt over the raised scars on his scalp. But Kurt tried not to think of how those scars got there, just leaned down to kiss the top of his head.

“I am so sorry, honey. I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Yes you did. But it’s ok. I’d be upset if I were you. Stuck with somebody who you can’t go anywhere with. Someone who’s never taken you on a real date, or to the movies, or a restaurant, or a show, or even walked down the street holding your hand. I’d be pissed, too. To be honest, I don’t know how you’ve put up with me for all these years.”

Kurt knew it was pointless to try and argue with him. He needed to vent his frustrations to Kurt the way Kurt had earlier that night. But he had to try. “I don’t ‘put up’ with you. I’m here because I love you. More than anything. And if I didn’t have faith in us, I would have never asked you to move here when you graduated. I knew you would have problems but I didn’t care because I was selfish and I wanted you near me all the time.”

“But I can’t be near you all the time. I can’t walk you to class or even to the subway. I can’t even go get the mail, Kurt. How are you supposed to live with this?”

“Because I know that when I get home, you’ll always be here waiting for me, surrounded by tons and tons of books.” Blaine smiled at that. “And it doesn’t matter that you don’t walk me to class. And the subway is disgusting. And honestly, spending a night in with you, a movie, and take out is better than any night on the town. I don’t need to be with you in fancy restaurants or crowded theaters to prove our relationship. It’s just you and me.”

“I love you, Kurt.”

“I love you, too.”

After a few minutes of kissing, “We should probably sell some of those books.”


End file.
